The joys of ‘doing life’ together
Glenda has become a long-term friend to the Ridleys. (Photo supplied by Peter Ridley)
For mixed farmer and Brahman stud owner Glenda, Salvation Army northern NSW chaplains Majors Peter and Jean Ridley have become part of the family.
While Peter and Jean say short-term relief after private and natural disasters is an important part of chaplaincy, building relationships and “doing life” with people over the long-term is essential – and one of their greatest joys.
Glenda, an insulin-dependent diabetic and farmer, says Peter and Jean have been part of her life for 13 years. That relationship has grown ever deeper over time.
Peter and Jean first met Glenda’s family in 2001 after floods on the mid-north coast of NSW.
Travelling to take hampers and make contact with flood-affected farmers, Jean first visited Glenda to see if she needed help. Glenda thanked Jean, but told her to give the help to those in greater need.
Years later, a desperate drought that left 100 of Glenda’s best Brahman cattle breeders dead. Then a prolonged legal battle left the family with “their backs to the wall”. Peter and Jean were able to pay a few bills and help with food hampers.
Then, when Glenda inherited some family money and bought a new farm, she gave hampers and meat to Peter and Jean to help others who were struggling.
Earlier this year, when Peter and Jean were on holidays, they received an urgent call from Glenda whose mum had fallen seriously ill.
“We headed straight there [to farm-sit], while Glenda traveled to visit her mum,” explains Jean. “She got there the night before her mum died, so she had the evening and next morning with her. Then she asked us to do her mother’s funeral.”
Glenda says it was really helpful knowing she had someone she could trust to help mind the farm.
“It helps a great lot when you can’t get off a property and you have cattle calving all the time. It’s really hard at times. Peter and Jean are so caring and understanding,” says Glenda.
Long-term journeying, Jean says, is essential to building trust. In turn, that trust allows the couple to share care, welfare and faith openly and deeply with many proud farmers.
“We often roll our sleeves up on the farm and get alongside people. Or if they just want to sit down and have a chat, we are there for their mental and emotional health. But we are chaplains, so we also care deeply about their spiritual health.”
“When people ask us why we do the things we do, we say ‘because we love you, and the reason we love you is because we love the Lord’.”
Jean says it is a blessing to be considered ‘family’ or good friends, and a privilege to make a difference in someone’s life.
“I think of one woman we have a long-term relationship with. At one stage she was going through a marriage breakup. We didn’t know it at the time, but apparently a couple of times our visits and care stopped her from taking her own life.
“We didn’t preach at all, but were open with our faith and she sat at the table one day and held my hand and said ‘Jean, I think I need Jesus’.”
As Jean’s husband Peter explains, this is a natural extension of some very real friendships. “We love them and so we want to spend eternity with them,” he says.
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