Support through the nightmare of family suicide
Ken and Julianne sharing their story at the Wollongong Red Shield Appeal launch earlier this year (Credit: Photo by Greg Ellis).
When their son Isaac took his own life at the age of 22, Julianne, Ken and their family entered a living nightmare. It was unimaginable and uncharted territory.
After finding “a lifeline” through the Salvation Army First Floor Program suicide bereavement support group, four years later Julianne and Ken still attend the group to support others.
After losing Isaac, the couple initially tried counselling, but it was not until she “was scooped up” by Jayne Wilson, founder of the First Floor program, that Julianne says there was any effective outlet for her grief.
“The grief and pain from losing a son to suicide is the most indescribable pain — a part of you dies.
“I didn’t think I could go on living,” Julianne says.
“Isaac was the most beautiful son. He was caring, sensitive and intelligent. He came dux of the school. He always did his homework and never liked drinking or drugs.”
After starting university, Isaac began to have trouble socialising and sleeping. His doctor diagnosed mild depression and suggested seeing a psychologist. Isaac did, but the psychologist did not believe Isaac needed antidepressants.
Isaac eventually decided to take a working holiday in Canada.
“One afternoon I got a phone call from Isaac,” says Julianne. “By the end of the call my husband and I knew our son was mentally unwell.”
“We flew to Canada, but by the time we arrived he had been scheduled into hospital. To see him in that state, locked up in a bare steel room was terrible.”
After three weeks, the psychiatrist deemed Isaac could travel and the couple took him home. At that stage the specialist thought that Isaac was possibly suffering bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
“Isaac was home with us two months. We thought we could keep him safe because we loved him so much,” says Julianne.
“The day before he died we played cards, board games, table tennis — he seemed very happy,” she says. “The next morning I found him. He was gone forever.”
Julianne and Ken soon began to attend the bereavement group and cried their way through the first meeting.
“The group was like a lifeline, it really was! Because there were other people there who had experienced similar things, we didn’t feel so isolated,” Julianne says.
“The group was only held once a month and between meetings the grief was so intense, you almost looked forward to that monthly meeting. Even though it was sad, it was uplifting,” she says.
Julianne who is a nurse, now advocates for greater suicide prevention awareness at every opportunity. Julianne believes, with such a shockingly high prevalence of suicide in Australia, that mental health first aid courses should be run in businesses throughout Australia.
“It’s frustrating that road accidents happen and the media covers so much about how to prevent them, yet we have almost double the amount of people lost through suicides every year,” she says.
With Ken at her side and a picture of Isaac placed between them, Julianne shared this story at The Salvation Army Red Shield Appeal business launch in Wollongong .
“I very, very much want to speak out now, to try to help save other people from such pain”.
For support, please call Salvo Care Line 1300 36 36 22. For more information on, or to support the First Floor Program, phone (02) 4229 1079.
Comments
Thankyou for sharing your grief, as we grieved and I still do for this beautiful young man Issac, Julianne & Ken you are brave, and I thankyou for speaking out as many people don't know how, Thankyou, Thankyou, Salvo Care Line & First Floor Program, We applaude your work, your support for so many grieving families, and the Love of God, spread to His people, God is Our Hope in Terrrible & despite circumstances, it will save lives of others in depression,and their families.... xox Salvo's Care see a great need and act on it, with the Love of God & Prayer. God works thu His People. God Bless You All.