Graham celebrating his ‘first’ birthday
Graham (left) says Sandy Avis' (right) support helped save his life.
Out of work, battling health problems and in deep debt, Graham decided 2015 was going to be his last year on this earth. Life had gone from bad to worse and he was suicidal.
The restaurant in Tamworth where he had been the chef for many years had closed. Unemployed, the bills started mounting, and he was suffering complications from recent knee surgery. On top of this, he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.
Worst of all, Grahams says, is that when he went to get professional help, nobody seemed to care. Nobody wanted to listen. He lost all hope.
Thinking of ways to end his life, he simply stopped eating and drinking, threw all the food out of his house and lay down to sleep hoping never to wake up. Starving and dehydrated, he finally called triple-0 for help.
He was referred to a number of counsellors, but Graham says that no one seemed to understand his situation. “I kept telling them what the problem was, but nobody seemed to listen,” he says. “It was the financial pressures, plus everything else. I didn’t see a reason to live. I went from being pretty comfortable and happy to the complete opposite. I had never been to a charity before.”
It was at his lowest point that he came into contact with The Salvation Army. He desperately needed financial help and so he was introduced to Sandy Avis, a counsellor with the Salvos' Moneycare program.
Over a period of six months, Sandy listened to Graham, and helped. She helped him reorganise his finances and most importantly, Graham says, she offered deep emotional support for many months through the darkest period in his life.
He says Sandy helped him see “a little chink of light at the end of the tunnel ... it helps you think, ‘I just might be able to do this’”. Born in 1959, Graham smiles as he thinks about his next birthday. “I’m going to turn one! This is a completely new life. I should’ve been dead months ago.”
Life now is looking up for Graham. The restaurant he used to work for is re-opening and he is about to resume working as a chef. And he is trying to “give back” to others, including organising the regular supper at The Salvation Army for members and others who need company and support.
“I finally put a hand up to get help and now I’m putting three hands up to give help back,” he says with a huge grin. “I was in a completely overwhelming situation and I decided ‘well I’ve just got to put my hand up and say I need help and that’s one of the smartest decisions I’ve ever made. Asking for help is not weakness, it’s not failure – it’s actually a pretty smart decision. If not for Sandy’s help, I definitely wouldn’t be having this conversation now!”
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